XplanaZine

I remember being in elementary school and going to music class twice a week. I was one of those kids who actually liked singing songs like “B-I-N-G-O” and that Doris Day classic “Que sera.” But my all-time favorite was “The Erie Canal.” I especially liked the part going from Albany to Buffalo, and always knowing your neighbor and always knowing your pal. Of course, I was just a kid in Texas and had no idea where those two cities even were, but there was a coolness in the sound of their names and that stuck with me over the years.

Well, it’s been decades since I sang those songs but I finally made it to the Northeast and, low and behold, last week I found myself driving from Boston to Albany for a meeting. And as we drove along I couldn’t help but think about that song, my Music teacher Mrs. Ettleman, and Ted Harris, the kid who sat next to me and always got me in trouble.

So there I was, on my way to Albany with my friend Dave, riding along in a sleak, silver Crown Victoria in high mobster fashion. It was early and quiet and we could drink our coffee and enjoy our thoughts in peace. As the sun snuck up beside us, Dave and I eased into the easy conversation of friends. We talked about cool ideas, great places to live, and ways to make the world a better place.

As we talked, I thought about my relationship with Dave and how much of it is based on the concept of evolving ideas. We’ve known each other for five years but it seems like forever. We have a lot in common and would be throwing back a pint every now and then even if work didn’t bind us. But the key to our relationship, the key to why we like to share time together, is the evolution part. We like to throw out ideas, add comments, let them ferment, and then take a sample taste from time to time. Dave and I have ideas that have been cooking since the first day we met and they still won’t be ready for consumption for at least another decade. And we’re perfectly happy with that. Because we understand that it’s the process of the journey — the details of the evolution — that leads to the good stuff of life and learning.

Truth be told, Dave has been an integral part of this latest phase of my own personal development. My relationship with him has helped mature my ideas and sharpen my thinking. But that shouldn’t come as a surprise to me or to anyone who’s active in education or teaching. If you’ve been in the trenches, you know that learning is ultimately about relationships. And I’m not talking about the superficial relationships, the ones from which we can’t even dredge up a name or a face. I’m talking about the relationships that serve as accurate measurements of time, growth, and erosion in our journey of learning.

• I’m talking about relationships between teachers and students. The informal encounters in the hallway, the special moments shared early in the morning or after school. The time spent together on trips or on special events like plays, marching contests, and athletic events. Those are real relationships that get built up over time, and they matter.
• I’m talking about the relationships between students. The sleepovers and TP parties. The long bus rides, stupid restaurant tricks, and Xanga blog angst. The precious moments that you can only get away with when you’re a kid and that, somehow, are just as or even more important than your Physics exam. They’re the moments that define the boundaries of what’s important and create the interpretive filters you’ll use for the rest of your life.
• And I’m talking about the relationships between teachers and other teachers. The camaraderie of the break room and lunch detail. The silent bond created by common experience, fear of failure, and the exhilaration of a single success. These are the relationships that remind us why we do what we do and why we keep going even through the occasional disappointment.

I’ve been blessed as both teacher and learner in life. I’ve cultivated many great relationships along my journey and I can’t even imagine what’s around the next bend. Not that it matters of course. Because I know that you’ll always know your neighbor and you’ll always know your pal as you navigate along the Education Canal.

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